Sixteenth Shift.

“So it has been as of late that the Deli has been producing a very inadvertent amount of rotten flesh and fish tongues. It has upset the victims to such a degree that management has decided to fire the current staff residing in the meat department and so we are now looking for employees to take their place.”

The words that crawled out from between the supervisor’s lips sent frightened murmurs through the meating room. As was the common knowledge that anyone who gets sent to the meat department never returns due to the fact that they are mutated into hideous fleshy meat sacks.

Mind you there were only three who ever returned, henceforth breaking that fact and taking ‘no one’ down to a less threatening ‘mostly no one’ which for some reason has left some of the older employees a tad peeved. Partly because Ear-Ache, Cutter and I kind of slaughtered the heart of the meat department, henceforth making it our faults that the quality has failed so recently and pushed management to damn more people to a fate worse than death. But mostly because they keep forgetting to make the proper changes to the story.

“So for the next few weeks I will be evaluating you all to see which of you will be getting promoted to Deli. So get out there, don’t fuck up, and give me reasons why I shouldn’t send you to your doom.” She smiles before turning and skipping out the room, leaving the rest of us in shock and disbelief, but mostly shock, because most of us were used to fate fucking us over like this. I mean seriously, we work at Every Mart, you don’t get more damned than this.

“Well you’re all fucked.” The new girl laughs, earning a few frightened looks from many a people. “And what’s keeping you from being just as fucked as the rest of us?” I query with a sour twist of the lips. “It’s obvious, I got boobs, I’m hot, and I’m willing to sodomize myself for corporate gain.” She replies with a smirk that I’m pretty sure made half the middle aged men in the room cream themselves. The rest being reminded of their impudence.

“And what makes you think I’m not the same?” Cutter growls and I simply pat his shoulder. “She has boobs, last time I checked you sold your nipples for a Klondike bar.” Cutter adopts a strange smile at that and basks in the realm of memories for a moment. “No one asks me what I’d do for one anymore heh.” He chuckles and I’m left staring down the new girl.

“I’m sure that when all’s said and done the supervisor’s decision will be made upon our efficiency and ability to adapt to whatever trials and tribulations that transpire during our shifts.” The new girl just smirks at my words and I sigh. “What am I saying she’ll probably do a raffle like last time.”

Ear Ache spontaneously screams next to me, “I know Ear Ache, but I’m pretty sure she’ll leave your name out like last time as well.” Ear Ache continues to swallow his tongue at that response and I just rub my head in exasperation before following the slowly dispersing crowd of employees as we all started heading out to start the night.

“Well as long as no one finds out we are the ones who caused the situation in the first place we should be fine.” Cutter assures me and I feel my eye twitch. “And I think that process would be much easier if you stop gloating about it.” I growl and Cutter casts me a look of outrage. “But who doesn’t like hearing about how I killed a leprechaun? It’s like midget tossing between the two towers!”

I slowly turn my head towards him, a scowl pasted upon chapped lips. Cutter remains silent a moment as he returned my stare. “Too soon?” He asks and I just sigh. “Eh not really.” I reply.