"Told you so." Cutter coughs with a cackle into my left ear. My eyebrow twitching as I look over the many different varieties of diapers set before me. "Told... You... So." He whispers with a venomous glee, I could practically imagine that twisted smile on his face as I kept my eyes trained upon the wad of cloth and razor wire in my fist.
"How the hell are these supposed to be designed specifically for the comfort of infants?" I mutter partial towards myself. Tossing aside wad after wad, each containing one such snare or another, from cyanide to anthrax, glass shards and more. "I mean, I wouldn't have a problem smothering the little twat spawn with pillow made from steel wool, but Slitch would fucking kill me thrice over..."
"Told. You. SO." Cutter seethes into my ear, the small patter of his disgusting spittle slapping against the side of my head like a tidal wave. Another small twitch of the eye and I slowly take a breath. "You've been saying that for six hours now mate, and I'm a tad bit sure that if you keep it up I will rip that fucking tongue out of your throat and shove it down your urethra!"
A blank look surpasses his grin and his eyes dilate as they stare deeply into mine for a long uncomfortable moment before the voracious grin slits open that face once more. "You could always give it to me, I'd sure love a new plaything..." he giggles and I roll my eyes with an almost teenage angst. "No thank you Rumpelstiltskin, and by the way it's not an it, it's a her."
My eyes returning to a brand in hand that contains thirty-two percent cotton, sixty-eight percent rubbing alcohol, in which with a shrug I accept and start turning in the general direction of the registers. Cutter continuing to loiter at my side with that told-you-so grin. "So do you two still fuck?" He asks and I slap my cheek in exasperation, "God dammit mate, of course we do, though I am considering becoming celibate for a month or two to let her tighten up some, right now it feels like fishing in a black hole made of sex appeal and stretch marks."
Cutter sighs, "Heh, that's the tell tale sign of a milf Tourney, I would say you have quite the catch, but everyone with a vagina nowadays seems to be getting pregnant in some vain attempt to spurn society." I nod slightly in agreement, "The times do seem to be changing for the worse... Maybe it's almost time for the apocalypse to finally wipe us off this goddamn planet so the roaches can move in."
Upon reaching the register and handing the diapers to the poor lobotomized fool who works days, I reach for my wallet as Cutter chuckles, "At this rate, your daughter will be pregnant in kindergarten, with 'swag' and 'yolo' tattooed on her fingers, and a dozen boys who are 'just friends' sleeping over every night heh." I hand the cash to the cashier and turn to him, "If that's the case I will have no problem using the coat hanger. In fact, I'd prefer if she dye her hair blue and admit she's a lesbian. At least she'd still have a future."
