Seventeenth Shift.

Basking in the last smoke break for my shift, I’m finding myself stealing glances at the new girl as she enjoyed a cigarette of her own over by an overturned cart that people had taken for an improvised seating area.

Suddenly feeling a pair of eyes boring into me I turn around to see a wiry cretin suffering from uncontrollable muscle spasms staring at me with wide bulging eyes, his teeth set in an enraged frown as a heated wheezing comes pouring out from his stuffed nose.

“Oh hey Twitch, how’s life been?” I ask pleasantly with absolutely no intention of paying attention should the freak decide to actually answer. Which surprisingly enough, he seemed a tad bit too peeved to even get anything short of a seething growl to spill from his curled lips.

I’m adopting an irritated furrow of the brow as his eyes continue to bore into me. “Please, do you happen to want something?” I reply with a hint of hostility degrading my tone, images of sugarplum fairies and repeatedly stabbing the man in the eye with my pocket knife drifting by the forefront of my mind like a midsummer night’s dream.

Lastly I see the man’s mouth begin to twist open in a response, my ears straining to hear the words he was about to say, though I would have done better to cover them, as Twitch surprisingly possessed a pair of rather healthy lungs.

“TWENTY FEET CLEARANCE FROM THE PREMISES YOU SMOKING DICKFUCK!” His words rang out louder than a gunshot and more violent than the second world war. My hair was swept back and I had to brace myself in order not to fall back as his words and spittle slapped across my face like that of my mother’s pimp.

Everyone sitting and talking by the overturned cart were immediately taking off in every direction in a desperate struggle to give themselves enough room between them and the entrance to Every Mart so not to become the next target of Twitch’s nonchalant anger.

I was left standing in the wake of Twitch’s outburst, my eyes set upon the freak as his body unconsciously kept twisting this way and that, though he still managed to keep those eyes set upon mine, and we held that gaze for a long moment, neither willing to give the other the satisfaction of backing down.

Except I suffered from a rather severe case of being a complete and utter asshole towards anything with a heartbeat and so as we held that standoffish glare, I flick my lit cigarette into his eye, hearing the sick sizzle as the enflamed tip made contact with his retina.

Now he was lying on the ground, contorted in pain as he screamed with his hands held over his eye. A satisfied smirk slit across my face and I turn away and see the new girl watching me with a playful smile scrawled across that too adorable face of hers, causing my heart to prance about in my chest screaming like an excited three year old who just realized snorting koolaid was fun.

Not wanting to stop, I continued by making a dramatic exit, that of which was as provocative as it was moistening towards the opposite sex, and so I swept the hair from my face and turned on my heel towards the door, beginning a few striding steps before Twitch grabs my pant leg, slipping my trousers from my waist and pulling them down to my ankles.

And I stood there stupefied as the many eyes in the parking lot now had a front row seat look at my heart speckled boxers. I held that solid posture like a deer caught in the headlights until Twitch started biting into my calves. I scream and kick at the cannibalistic fuck  as I struggled to keep balance in which I failed miserably although I succeeded with flying colors in tripping over my pants, falling flat on my back, cracking my skull on the pavement and knocking myself unconscious.