Thirteenth Shift

"I can't believe he ate him." Tourniquet gasps wide eyed, his mouth hanging open as he surveyed the sight before him.

The meatsack that had been assailing them was almost completely hollowed out. Lying motionless, devoured, before the satisfied Ear Ache, too busy smacking his lips to notice the horror on Tourniquet's face.

Cutter laughs, "Ear Ache has always had a large appetite, He ate almost half of the employee's at last year's company barbecue before management decided they should stop him."

Tourniquet looks at Cutter with huge eyes.

"Why didn't they stop him sooner?!?!" Tourniquet asks incredulously and Cutter smirks, "Hey, it meant more money in the office pool! That's always a good thing!"

Ear Ache staggers over. "Too much..." He moans and Tourniquet sighs,  "Are we going to finish this 'quest' soon? I'm fucking tired, and have a whole slew of new topics to talk to my therapist about, and Ear Ache looks like he might need some pepto soon..."

Cutter cracks a full fledged smile, "Of course! We're almost there!" And with that announcement he runs off, leaving Tourniquet and Ear Ache behind.

"Sometimes I wonder how he hasn't died yet. He seems like the type of person who'd stick his tongue in a light socket just to see if it would give him an idea..." Tourniquet starts after Cutter, with a sick Ear Ache in tow.

About a few yards later, they stumbled upon Cutter humping a door. A strange occurrence, but by noting Cutter's current IQ as well as the things he has done as of late, one would assume he had simply lost his last marble and has since confused his own genitalia for a key.

"Umm what are you doing?" Tourniquet asks carefully, and Cutter turns to him, "I'm trying to summon the Eldritch god that resides within this tomb. He is the one we have been looking for!"

Tourniquet nods slowly, "I see, and just what does intercourse with a door have to do with this equation?"

Cutter laughs, "Oh I just had an itch, now to summon this god, we need a human sacrifice."

Tourniquet steps back, "Oh my god..."

Cutter chuckles, "Just so happens I have Jimmy's left forearm on me." He pulls out the mangled limb from his back pocket and throws it at the door. It slaps against the side and spatters blood every which way before falling limply to the ground.

"Umm.... I was expecting something a tad more.... Impressive?" Tourniquet muses and suddenly the door bursts open and huge meaty claws burst forth from within, hundreds upon hundreds of meaty limbs poured forth from the entryway and slowly encased the area around the three employees within a vast cocoon of flesh and sinew.

"Holy.... fuck...." Tourniquet gasps slowly as finally, deep within the confines of the bloodied passageway, emerged a husk of man, draped in green, short and aptly chubby, a long grayed beard that mixed with twigs and marrow leaked forth from his chin.

Cutter squeals and throws open his arms, "Bow before the Heart of Every Mart! Lucky the Leperchaun!"